Saturday, April 4, 2009

The clues are everywhere

On my way to the storage unit today, I saw a carload of clues.

A rather large, middle-aged woman was behind the wheel of a late-model Toyota Camry, a small child occupying (sort of) a car seat directly behind her. In her left hand, the driver held a cell-phone to her ear; her right was wrapped around a soft-serve ice cream cone.


Her mouth was doing triple duty, splitting time among chatting and slurping and minding the ankle-biter. There didn't seem to be much actual driving going on.

A large sticker reading, WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE? -- clearly questioning Barack Obama's qualifications for the office to which the American people elected him -- was affixed to the rear bumper. To its left, an Ohio vanity plate: DUMBSHIT.

Ok, I'm kidding about the last part, but it's the only plausible conclusion that I can draw from the other clues. Since there are plenty of dead-from-the-neck-up folks still fighting the Civil War -- er, so sorry, The War of Northern Aggression -- I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that others are still waging the last campaign for President of the United States.

Just guessing, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there's a good bit of overlap between the two groups. Now don't you go hating me for saying that -- I mean, all I'm doing is following the clues.