Signs of the Apocalypse

Joe Biden owns two shotguns, John McCain went an entire debate without saying "maverick," and Vanderbilt's football team is 5-0.

The U.S. government spends $85 billion to bail out AIG, learns that the company used $443,000 of that money for a spa weekend, and the next day hands AIG another $38 billion.

Paying $3.25 for a gallon of gas is a bargain, and investing in a money-market fund is a risk.

Lou Dobbs.

Bottled water, ethanol subsidies, hybrid pickup trucks, and the two-party system.

"Fair and balanced."

More conservative outrage over Barack Obama's middle name than over the government's trillion-dollar corporate bailout.

The decriminalization of illegal immigration, and the socialization of capitalism.

Cindy McCain's $500,000 convention wardrobe, and John McCain's $300 billion proposal that the government buy all bad mortgages.

The People's Republic of California.

"The fundamentals of our economy are strong."

Gun owners who support Obama-Biden, and gun owners who believe that a vote for McCain-Palin will guarantee our Second Amendment rights.

Incumbents.

Placing a higher value on a lapel pin than on judgment.

Sarah Palin.

Insisting that candidates be specific -- and then actually believing what they say.

"I approved this message."