They do care about each other -- as much as generational tension allows, anyway. Still, there's a potential flash-fire every time they get together.That's just the way it is.
Last week, from what I hear, the old man took to criticizing the teenager's fashion choices -- probably the habit of letting his pants hang well south of his ass, in the popular style of a prisoner who's had his belt confiscated. Instead of responding that he's just really, really proud of his underwear -- or, perish the thought, simply letting the comment pass -- our spawn proceeded to indict his grandfather's generation for screwing-up our country and, for that matter, the world.
The teenager is right, of course -- not because he's particularly brilliant, but because most of the decisions that have shaped our world over the last 40 years were made by that older generation. They've wielded the political, military, religious and industrial power. So if there's blame to be portioned for society's ills, a heapin' helpin' naturally belongs to that generation.
What the 16-year-old needs to remember, however, is that this same generation deserves his gratitude as much as his disapproval. His grandparents and their peers sacrificed much for this nation, many paying with their lives to preserve his freedom to speak his mind and dress like an inmate.
So the next time emotion propels our spawn toward criticism, he'd be wise to take notice of who he's talking to -- an old man, sure, but one who could teach him a thing or two about his generation's contributions and its mistakes.
Another flashpoint between the two is the high-school junior's decision to split his time between college-prep classes and an auto-tech program this year. Mrs. KintlaLake and I support his choice, while his grandfather opposes it. Granddad regularly makes his disagreement known, and lately it's become outright derision.
My wife and I, like our 16-year-old, envision a future in which a college education may still have value, but which also will demand practical, real-world skills. Overall, the next generation's standard-of-living almost certainly be lower than ours, and perhaps the best way to weather the coming economic storms will be to build a lifeboat or two.
My father-in-law remains trapped in the tunnel of his experience, seeing a university sheepskin as the only worthy ticket to a prosperous future.
It's a classic case of different perspectives -- an old man is closer to his past, while a young man is closer to his future. My wife and I are somewhere in between, clearheaded enough to know that this isn't the world of our childhood, much less the world of 70 years ago.
Communication between adjacent generations is difficult enough. Shouting across a 63-year gulf is almost impossible. I don't pretend to have a solution to that age-old problem.
That's just the way it is.
