Thursday, August 7, 2008

'I don't think this damn thing is safe'

If you're inclined to cast your lot with Sen. John McCain, here's a question: Am I the only one who's reaching for nose clips and a personal flotation device?

As I've said before, I favor Sen. McCain -- not out of conviction or confidence, but by default. After critically considering the alternative, especially on entitlements and gun control, I can't bring myself to vote for Sen. Barack Obama.

That's not exactly a ringing endorsement, is it?


Press me further and I'll even suggest that Sen. Obama has demonstrated a better aptitude for leadership and a far better grasp of the issues.

The Republican Party, which historically owns matters of fiscal policy, will nominate a guy who's admitted to being clueless about economic issues. And despite Sen. McCain's war-hero status, the presumptive nominee talks more like a cocky fly-boy than a Commander-in-Chief, risking the GOP's customary advantage on national security.

Sen. McCain has his computer-illiterate, old-guy-next-door demeanor and Sen. Obama has his cultural savvy and polished rhetoric. The Democratic Party's presumptive nominee is too inexperienced to lead, according to his long-tenured Republican opponent, but every day I watch Sen. Obama handle himself with more aplomb.

For Sen. McCain and his supporters, none of this is good.

Whenever I see the candidates these days, it's clear that the rigors of campaigning have taken a toll on both. Especially over the last two weeks, Sen. McCain looks to me like he just went 12 rounds -- and lost. I don't care how old and spry his mother is, he's off his sharp, straight-talking game. Way off.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but seriously, can you picture this guy after four years in the Oval Office? Do I hear eight?

The wearier Sen. McCain gets, the less of him I see. Oh, that's John McCain behind the microphone, all right, but I'll be damned if I hear the spirited candidate of even six months ago.

Instead, it seems, he's become a surrogate for his surrogates, a regular Charlie McCarthy, spouting shallow right-wing chestnuts and little else.

Equating Sen. Obama with Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears? Handing out "Obama Energy Plan" tire gauges to the press? Expecting me to tremble at the mention of "tax-and-spend liberal"?

Again, this isn't good.

Without a doubt, Sen. McCain's biggest hurdle is President George W. Bush. I don't think he can put enough distance between his campaign and the bumbling Bush administration without discarding conservative and loyalist voters -- and surrogates -- that he desperately needs.

For all the ineptitude and dysfunction, I still see a couple of ways for Sen. McCain to win.


The first would be a contentious Democratic Party convention, and that seems more and more likely. Just today, Sen. Hillary Clinton hinted that she wants her delegates-in-denial to be heard in Denver, and that she hasn't yet decided if she'll ask that her name be placed into nomination. Especially if Sen. Obama makes a misstep (as perceived by wailing Clintonites) in choosing a running mate, he might lose support he'd never get back.

Sen. McCain's second chance for victory is Americans' ultimate reluctance to elect a black man with a foreign-sounding name to the office of President -- and honestly, just saying that disgusts me. My natural pessimism about human nature leads me to believe that some voters still suspect that Sen. Obama is an unpatriotic Muslim socialist -- enough, maybe, to swing the election in Sen. McCain's favor.

I sure hope it doesn't come to that.

I plan to vote for Sen. John McCain on November 4th. Considering my choices, it's what I have to do.

And no, I'm not happy about that -- not one bit.


(About the title of this post: Groucho Marx used to tell the story of a man who was about to be hanged. A priest asked the man, "Have you any last words to say, before we spring the trap?" To which the condemned man replied, "Yes, I don't think this damn thing is safe.")