I'm not discouraged, however, so I humbly submit these three for the Academy's consideration.
Reginald Peterson
It's happened to all of us-- our fast food doesn't quite match what we ordered. But when a Subway in Jacksonville put the wrong sauce on 42-year-old Peterson's spicy Italian sandwich last week, he took decisive action.
He called 911. Twice.
The first call was to complain about the sauce. The second was to take issue with police officers' response time.
As my younger spawn is fond of saying, "Stupid should hurt." With that in mind, I think it's time for somebody to open a family-size can of whup-ass on this idiot.
Richard Cooey
In 1986, Cooey raped and murdered two young women, vicious crimes that earned him a well-deserved place on Ohio's death row.
Now he's suing the state to block his execution, scheduled for mid-October. Why? Because he's fat and has bad veins.Lawyers for Cooey, 41, contend that their client's maladies might make carrying out death-by-lethal-injection unconstitutionally cruel.
I have an idea: Let's do some physiological and pharmacological legwork and find a way to make Cooey dead -- the sooner, the better. This double-murderer has wasted enough of our time.
Jermaine Canada
Phoenix Police say that Canada, 27, walked into a 7-Eleven around 2:15am Monday, shot and killed the clerk behind the counter, then walked out. The fact that he didn't rob the store isn't what makes this case so disturbing.
Surveillance video shows that Canada was holding a two-year-old child and had a six-year-old in tow when he opened fire on his victim.This is a grotesque example of why justice should be swift, sure and severe -- and we all know it won't be. Like Cooey and the dog in the familiar riddle, Canada will exploit the system, languishing in prison until he takes his rightful place at the pointy end of an Arizona needle.
Even if that were to happen tomorrow, it wouldn't be soon enough for my liking.
