Nobody home

"It is an honor to be named your 'Conservative of the Year.' ... The biggest mistake made was that I could have called more shots on this: the opportunities that were not seized to speak to more Americans via media. I was not allowed to do very many interviews, and the interviews that I did were not necessarily those I would have chosen. But I was so thankful to have the opportunity to run with John McCain that I was not going to argue with the strategy decisions that some of his people were making regarding the media contacts. But if I would have been in charge, I would have wanted to speak to more reporters because that’s how you get your message out to the electorate." (Sarah Palin, to Human Events, which aptly calls itself the "Headquarters of the Conservative Underground")

"Everyone came at me to write a book. They had dollar signs in their eyes. '101 Things Joe the Plumber Knows' or some stupid shit like that. Excuse me, I am sorry. You know I will get behind something solid, but I won't get behind fluff. I won't cash in, and when people do read the book they will figure out that I didn't cash in. At least I hope they figure that out." (Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, to FOX News, promoting his new book, Joe the Plumber -- Fighting for the American Dream. Available for $24.95 plus $18.60 for shipping, the book comes with a one-year membership to his website -- a $19.95 value -- which includes full access to "Joe The Forum," where members can chat directly with Joe; a subscription to the monthly "Joe The Blog" newsletter; and free shipping on all "Joe The Plumber" merchandise.)